July 16, 2017 at 8:45 am (Uncategorized) (, , )

Sarah: you actually were telling the truth.
Jareth: I do that quite a lot. Yet people are always surprised.


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July 13, 2017 at 10:49 pm (Uncategorized) (, )


Made these for anyone to use. Or just me, whatever.

I made these ages ago. Anyone who wants to use them is welcome to.

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July 10, 2017 at 10:52 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , )

I just dug through my offline archive to find stuff I wrote about the holes in the script of Scandal in Belgravia back when it was first aired. Putting it under a cut since it’s both old and spoilery.

So, Mycroft’s ingenious solution to his Coventry dilemma – he knows there’s going to be a terrorist attack on a plane but doesn’t want the baddies to know he’s cracked their code or whatever – is to load the plane with dead bodies. That died in some way that leaves Mycroft blameless.

Well and good, only, the episode makes it clear that they’ve been collecting these cadavers for weeks or months. At least three of the cadavers in question were brought to Holmes’s attention in the course of his cases. At least two of them, their families knew their aunt or grandpa was dead. A funeral had to have happened and all that.

So when Flight 007 (I bet they don’t really number flights that, everyone who works for airlines would get sick to death of the jokes) has its explosion or whatever, which evidently wasn’t a suicide bombing or anything else that would allow the baddies to see that the people on the plane were already dead, what do they tell the press? They can put off releasing a passenger list for a while, but everyone whose relatives might conceivably have been on that plane will be calling the police and the airline and the press and Santa Claus demanding to know if their loved ones were among the casualties. If they had kept the deaths of the cadavers secret from the families, they could release their real names and the terrorists could get the blame for their deaths, but again, those two little girls knew their grandfather was dead, that man with the ashes knew his aunt was dead. The gummint can’t very well say, “Hey, your aunt just died a second time.”

The government (i.e. Mycroft) could issue a passenger list of fake names, but you know that every reporter in the Western world would be all over it. They would be beating the bushes to find the nearest and dearest of the dead for their human interest stories. Political groups would be looking for people they could use. There’s no way a lie like this could succeed. There is a nontrivial number of people crazy enough to believe the 9/11 hijackings were a scam of some sort, one of the most popular theories being that the planes were empty and piloted by remote control. (Dubya did this, we are informed, on the orders of The Jooz. That’s why I converted, all we have to do is pick up the phone and the leader of the free world asks how high to jump.) We have the names of the people who died on that day, their families have told the world their stories, we’ve heard their phone calls made at the last moments of their lives, and still people cook up nutty theories about it. If people can find nonexistent holes in the truth, you know they’ll find an actual conspiracy with ease.

Either I’m smarter than Mycroft Holmes or I’m smarter than Steven Moffat.

Holmes tells Irene that she has no doubt “permanently disabled” her precious phone’s ability to broadcast the photos to anywhere else to prove that they’re unique.

Only, if it’s “permanently disabled”, then it’s no good to her. What’s she going to do, put the photos on the phone’s little screen and let a tabloid writer take a photo of the screen?

Most movies, even the best, have logical problems like this. We don’t usually catch them the first time we watch (I think I caught this one, but I can’t remember for sure) and if the movie’s good we don’t care. Still.

Second: Sherlock identified a cadaver as Irene Adler. The woman had the same coloring and the precise same measurements as Irene Adler. (This one I did catch on the first viewing.)

Maybe one of the baddies out to get Irene mistook this Jane Doe for Irene and killed her. Or maybe a random brunette with those measurements happened to get killed that night and Irene took advantage. But that’s kind of a big coincidence. Another woman who looks a lot like Irene, sure. But who has the precise same measurements?

No, the only conclusion that makes sense is that Irene chose a woman for her coloring and measurements and killed her to make her own escape. Or possibly Moriarty did it for her, but she went along with it. Makes her a lot less likeable, doesn’t it?

Not that I care. All I really care about is Irene sashaying around with her whip in front of her gorgeous wallpaper. And the makers of this show know it.

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July 7, 2017 at 8:26 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , )

Loki: Just let me rule you. Fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave.
Fandom: Deal!

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