July 16, 2017 at 9:10 am (Uncategorized) (, )


















this is gross, he doesn’t even respect her enough to listen to her 

He’s excited. If it was Winn or James or Lena everybody would be saying ‘aw that’s so cute, they’re excited!’ Buncha hypocrites. 

We’re calling out a man that’s been disrespectful as the primary foundation of this relationship so take your biased excuses, waddle back to the misogynistic side of the fandom and don’t come back until you have an actual argument based on something more than ignorant suppositions and immature accusations.

When a man immediately dismisses your clearly stated boundaries repeatedly then he’s an ass and the last thing you do is date him.

I don’t watch this show, but if someone said “can we keep this quiet?” with regards to dating

THAT PERSON is being disrespectful.

Like fuck off, if you’re not proud to be with someone and willing to say it out loud, don’t fucking treat them as if they’re something to be ashamed of, end it, and they can be with someone who’’s proud to be with them.

Fuck that like

A man is excited about his relationship with a woman and slips up once.
Binch it’s not like he hit her or called her names or demanded her to become a housewife. That is REAL misogyny.

Oh my god are you all joking? He’s ignored her repeatedly when all she’s done is ask nicely for some discretion and oh I don’t know…RESPECT?? She said ‘dont follow me’ and he followed her?? He threw her gift into the trash that she went out of the way to get. If this is what you want in a partner, someone that won’t even listen to you and acts like a child, then I don’t know what else to say.

Okay you fucking assholes. Y’all don’t watch the show apparently so I’m gonna explain this for you.
The girl asked him for a time to sort out her feelings before she could tell everyone, after their first night together, they literally just started being together, and she told him and I will quote their conversation here just to be clear how fucking disrespectful this dudebro was;

Kara: Can we just keep this quiet?
Him: What? You don’t want people to know?
Kara: no, no, I do. It’s… It’s not that, it’s just… Just for now. Cause the last time I liked someone, everyone in my life watched and commented on it. And I just really don’t want that to happen to us
Him: okay, we can keep it quiet

And just as he finished this line, the line of him saying “HEY EVERYBODY, Kara and I are dating” started. Like it took literally less than a second in airtime for him to say it and apparently 10 seconds of them getting into WORK.
So the girl opened up about her feelings, told him she wanted to not be over exposed about an extremely new relationship, which could not even be a relationship because they literally had their first kiss the night before, for very valid reasons, he told her he was going to do what she asked, and then the second he got the chance he just announced it at their workplace, in the lobby calling attention to all of their co-workers and friends and her family, yelled it like they were in a bar or a college party and revealing things about their private lives for people who didn’t even need to know, and might I add if their workplace had strict policies he could be getting them fired AND YOU ASSHOLES ARE SAYING HE IS IN THE RIGHT AND SHE’S THE DISRESPECTFUL ONE HERE?

Wow, idk it must be nice to hate women so much that her wishes of simple things like privacy can be dismissed as a silly whim. But okay, cool.

LIIIKE. if your relationship LITERALLY JUST STARTED literally that morning and as she said, with the last guy that she was into everyone knew and everyone was involved, and she’s just asking for it to be between them for now AND MAYBE SHE WOULD ALSO GODDAMN LIKE TO BE ABLE TO TELL HER FRIENDS AND FAMILY QUIETLY AT A TIME AND PLACE OF HER CHOOSING

and he can’t fucking respect that for fucking more than 11 seconds?! and SHE’S THE DISRESPECTFUL ONE?

are y’all fucking telling me that if you literally just started a relationship with someone and they completely threw your first polite and small request out the window, that you’d be all “wow shit yeah i really deserved that, how dare i think that my feelings on anything matter, how disrespectful of me to think that he should listen to and respect a wish of mine, what was i thinking?!” ??????? are you fucking kidding me

like if the relationship just started and he can’t even respect her first wish? what the hell kind of foundation does that set for their relationship??? if anyone come and says “a healthy one” or “but uwu he’s so cute” idek what i’ll do

is it really that fucking difficult to be empathetic for two minutes and just think “if i literally just started dating someone, asked him not to tell anyone just now because maybe i’d like to tell them myself and he can’t respect that for 11 seconds and literally shouts it from the rooftops as if he’s finally won his award”, like would you really still be thinking she’s the disrespectful one? because then guess what? you’re so far up the misogynistic white fratboys ass that you might not even come out

fucking. yikes. at all of you

and NO. it would be terrible if she was with anyone else and if they disrespected her wish as well. with this garbage dumpster it’s just more so because he’s done so multiple times already and he keeps being giving new chances and then spoiling them first chance he gets over and over

he’s never hit her? uh yeah he has right before they so much as spoke any words to each other, his first action upon waking up was an act of violence, 

he’s never called her names? uh yeah he has after she catches him trying to shake down a guy in an alley and ask him again to use his powers for good he goes off on her about how she’s selfish and in it for the glory and there’s no way she’s that good of a person, he also called her full of her self not even an episode ago when they were arguing about how she wanted to deal with Mr. Mxyzptlk and he didn’t think she was good enough to do so without him

and while he hasn’t asked her to stay at home and be a housewife he did ask her to ignore the trouble that was happening when she decided to investigate the missing people, telling her that if she goes looking for trouble she will find it, funny that still sound like he want’s her to deny who she is and reject her own agency

some of the greatest acts of violence against women are the subversive ones where the woman begins to believe the lies fed to her by her own abuser

some of the greatest acts of violence against women are the subversive ones where the woman begins to believe the lies fed to her by her own abuser

Bonus: literally the day before this, he uttered the line, “I will respect you.” It has already been established since his first episode in 203 I would argue that he doesn’t respect her, so, yeah.

I am an attorney. A lot of the work I do involves dv (domestic violence) and ipv (interpersonal violence). Before I became an attorney, I worked as an intern advocate at a women’s resource center helping women file protective orders pro se; I took their experiences and entered the facts on the right parts of the forms before walking them through the courthouse process. I have seen abusive relationships between folks of pretty much all ages, socioeconomic backgrounds, and orientations. Watching this relationship on Supergirl makes me cringe. It mimics what hundreds of women and girls have told me they experienced at the start of what had, by the time they got to me, become horrifying relationships on the brink of becoming deadly ones. Some of the worst abuse I heard about happened far, far before things got physical; to “successfully” abuse someone, you have to break them down. If I hit you on date one, you leave. If I undermine you little-by-little from the beginning, when I hit you six months in, you stay because you think you deserved it. What we are seeing on Supergirl right now is the first part of a typical abuse cycle. That anyone thinks it is normal or, worse, romantic speaks volumes about our society.

The women on this feed have said it plenty strong on their own. That said, if you need a man to say it for it to stick, let me be very, very clear: Mon El and Kara are in an abusive relationship. In that abusive relationship, Mon El is the abuser. Every man watching should be disgusted by his behavior. Every. Man. Every man should call out this behavior when we see it in real life. Every man should check his own behavior to ensure it is not like this. If you are not doing that, you are part of the problem. For the women who think the relationship is good or romantic: I am sorry our society has failed you. I am sorry that we have taught you that women have less worth than men so this behavior is acceptable. I hope you will realize your worth and never accept behavior like this from a partner.

Truly and seriously, fuck this show for presenting us this toxic shit and expecting us to react as if it’s a bouquet of flowers.

and if you’re dating someone who asks you to be quiet about something and you don’t like it – YOU JUST TELL THEM IT. You find a solution. You reach a mutual agreement. You don’t say “yeah, okay” and in the first opportunity you tell everybody. He literally had the opportunity to tell her.

Doing it is bad in any relationship – but it’s worse considering the power dynamic in our society when you literally have a Man making a decision for a Woman, over what she clearly said she wanted. 


For every girl/woman that thinks Mon-El is romantic please read this


Author Lundy Bancroft was former co-director of Emerge, the first
program specifically created for abusive men in the United States. He
has worked extensively with abusive men for nearly two decades and has
frequently been expert witness in the legal system involving abuse
Bancroft outlines the early warning signs of an
abusive man; ten abusive personality types; the role of addiction in
abuse; what can and cannot be changed in abusive men; and how to get out
of an abusive relationship safely.

“Part of how the abuser escapes confronting himself is by
convincing you that you are the cause of his behavior, or that you at
least share the blame. But abuse is not the product of bad relationship
dynamics, and you cannot make things better by changing your own
behavior or by attempting to manage your partner better. Abuse is a
problem that lies entirely within the abuser.” (pg. 19)

Basically it comes down to this, it starts with him not respecting you as a person. It will always be the root of abuse. If he doesn’t respect you, he will never respect you. You cannot and should not try to change him ( or her for that matter) disrespect is a red flag and a sounding alarm. Get out as soon as possible.

I know there was a free PDF link but I cannot find it at the moment…does anyone have it?

I always find hilarious (and with hilarious I mean f***ing depressing) the concept that some people think this is relationship goal because he doesn’t hit her…

I mean dude/tte he would be the most stupid awful man in the universe to start to hit a woman that now he knows could literally punch him to space if she where so inclined (when she captured him and fought him as a villain in episode 02×03 do you remember how easily she beat him in a fight?).


Permalink Leave a Comment

July 16, 2017 at 7:17 am (Uncategorized) ()



Permalink Leave a Comment

July 16, 2017 at 6:49 am (Uncategorized) (, )



If anyone is going to comic con and plans on asking questions about Mon-El/Karamel or the show in general in regards to it’s failure please keep in mind that your question should be filled with facts that the people responding can’t outright deny.
As in don’t just ask why they decided to include Mon-El. Call it out in question form. Ask why they made him the third character with the most screentime on a show that is meant to empower women all while having him disrespect the lead throughout the whole season to the very end.
Don’t just let them get away with open questions that they can twist to make what happened sound good. Drag them in the question itself. That will put them in a spot where they either have to admit their wrongdoing or excuse it and either way it will be bad for them.

And if you hear someone ask such a question and the show-runners manage to dodge it relatively unscathed treat it as an opportunity to add a follow up comment or question to pull them back in.

Like if they give you shit about Mon-el being a character they could go on a “hero’s journey” with as an answer and they move on to the next person, if you’re the next person then go with something like “But James Olsen is an already established character with an already established foundation for a relationship with Kara. Why not use him as an opportunity to explore a hero’s journey with rather than just hastily making him the Guardian and then making him almost irrelevant or nonexistent for the rest of the season save two episodes? Wouldn’t it risk distracting from other characters and stories to have to introduce a whole new character rather than use one that is already there?”

If they dodge the allegations of disrespect and psychological abuse on Mon-el’s part come at them with cited sources from Domestic Violence literature on identifying abuse and precise moments when Mon-el fits that behavior (that scene in the D.E.O and where he accuses Kara of being a glory hog literally seconds after he just beat the shit out of Brian are two good ones). 

In essence go in like it’s a press conference and you’re a reporter (and not a rabid tumblr user). Be calm, be articulate, be respectful, go in well read and prepared, and give them a full court press they cannot ignore. 

Permalink Leave a Comment

July 16, 2017 at 6:21 am (Uncategorized) (, )

some karamel: lol so by your logic anyone whose ancestors owned slaves hundreds of years ago is automatically a slave owner because we are responsible for our family history!
me: he literally owned and took advantage of the slaves himself what are you talking about
some karamel: [blocks me]

Permalink Leave a Comment

July 15, 2017 at 10:49 pm (Uncategorized) (, , )

It was one thing when she thought he was just a lowly guard on Daxam and was as much a victim of the tyrannical rule of the king and queen and prince. But then she finds out he was the prince, and that he was more of a perpetrator than a victim, and all of the great character strides he has made evaporate for her because she’s so put off by the truth.

Andrew Kreisberg on what is up for Kara and Mon-El (x)

Except that she gets over it in about one episode, and he doesn’t become a better person.

Permalink Leave a Comment

July 15, 2017 at 10:21 pm (Uncategorized) (, )


Supergirl season two.


Supergirl season one


Permalink Leave a Comment

July 15, 2017 at 9:53 pm (Uncategorized) (, )

When they first get together, it’s just about reveling and being together. Kara is very guarded, she’s always felt distant from people and alone. It’s been hard for her to open herself up, and it took a long time to open herself up to Mon-El, but there’s a comfort being with someone who is also super-powered and someone who is also not from Earth. There’s a lot of synchronicity between them and she takes comfort in that.

Andrew Kreisberg on Kara and Mon-El (x)

Yeah, Kara’s guarded. So distant. She has so much trouble opening up.

Permalink Leave a Comment

July 15, 2017 at 7:29 pm (Uncategorized) (, , )

I came across some Karamel shippers who were really triumphant that their ship “won” and were openly gleeful about how unhappy the rest of us were about it. I mean, it sounded like what they were happy about was not that their ship was still sailing, but that we were unhappy.

I don’t really get that. Granted, it’s partly because I’m a slasher and until recently, slashers had no hope of their pairings becoming canon. I once read an essay saying that slashers were happier fans than het shippers, because het shippers could hope their pairings would become canon and were disappointed if they didn’t, whereas we knew from the start it wouldn’t happen so we didn’t get let down.

But I mean. If the next Loki movie had what I wanted, Thor and Odin et al admitting they were wrong and thanking Loki for everything and recognizing him as the hero he is, I would be happy for Loki and for myself. I wouldn’t even think much about how angry the Counter-Resistance would be, but these Karamel shippers were going on and on about that, like it’s more important to them than the ship itself.

Whatever, the Karamel people were so toxic that now I’m not even sure I can keep watching the show, even for Sanvers. Dammit.

Permalink Leave a Comment

July 15, 2017 at 2:07 am (Uncategorized) (, , )


Supercorps AND major media: mon el is problematic and boring 



Permalink Leave a Comment

July 14, 2017 at 6:35 pm (Uncategorized) (, )


Welp, it’s official. From the TV Guide SDCC mag.

Permalink Leave a Comment

Next page »